That Lightbulb just can’t be stopped, can she? She never fails to… well, fail. I counted today as the sixth time Lightbulb has shattered, the sixth part in an incessant pattern that you just can’t help but marvel at! Because, well, what else can you do? Look down on her for being careless? Heh. Just sit back and enjoy the proceedings!
Now I know what you’re thinking. Fan, this is great and all, but what of the other five times Lightbulb has broken into pieces? Surely these groundbreaking moments cannot be ignored! Oh, you are quite right about that! For here I shall list off every occasion so far in which our irreplaceably light-headed light bulb friend has cracked us up! And no… I’m not referring to her sense of humor. At least, I think she’s purposely making all of those jokes. She’s trying to be funny, clearl- eh, let’s just move on.
1. Penciled In – A Lightbulb shatter was never expected or planned on any schedule. Why? It is because it had never occurred before, that is, until this fateful day. Now, as a writer myself, I know the pains of writer’s block. But I’m sure it doesn’t hurt as much as a pencil straight to the face! That’s gonna leave a mark that you can’t erase… Yet how would this landmark event be followed up? In a way only Lightbulb could!
2. Not a One-Shot Wonder After All – That last one may have been the first time we saw Lightbulb break, but unlike many musical sensations that have graced our radio stations, she came back with a vengeance. Several vengeances, actually! As for this one, it’s a classic comedic fall over a rock, and it’s during a challenge. Lightbulb’s shattering became one pattern, and her… memorable performance during Season 1 team challenges became another. She always knew just how to mishandle a group effort- I mean- well, um. She’s just perfect, okay? She has her own standard that she’s measured by. She’s Lightbulb.
3. The Episode 5.5 Scene-Stealer – Oh, Lightbulb certainly had a small amount of screentime in this already bite-sized minisode, but she makes the most of it by sticking her landing squarely between a captive Paper and Baseball! Forget Baseball’s book about where life itself comes from! I want to know where irreplaceable diving champions like Lightbulb come from! That way… I can stay away. This is reckless behavior, honestly. Who would bring up their kid like that?
4. Into Thin Air – I just don’t know how she does it. Seriously, upon her rejoining, Lightbulb miraculously fades into existence, betraying any semblance of gravity until she promptly decides to hit the ground. I’ve watched this countless times, and I still wouldn’t be able to explain it. It honestly makes no sense. Then again, neither does Lightbulb. But hey, at least she’s not like certain other individuals that happen to be on my team. I’m willing to brush off that issue, though! Brush. Off. Brush… next time, okay? You’ll understand soon enough.
5. Dropped out of the Game – Now don’t let this heading fool you. Lightbulb would never drop out of II. She’s too stubbornly unaware to ever consider that! You just got to love her, for even when she’s eliminated from the show, she still goes out with a bang, or perhaps more like a “keilkeicccc”! It’s difficult to describe.
6. Holiday Trip – One of my Internet friends said it best – Christmas ain’t Christmas until someone gets severely injured. It’s a very special time of the year, and you can just count on there being some sort of complication. It’s one thing when you receive a present you don’t want, but it’s another when you stumble over a rock and hurt yourself as you land upon a blanket of fresh, white snow. It’s like becoming incapacitated on a puffy cloud, it stirs feelings in you that… I don’t understand and quite frankly make me feel a little too aware of myself and immensely uncomfortable because of it. Let’s get off this subject!
7. Support Me – Just as Lightbulb was about to give Paintbrush some help- Wait just a moment! This is number 7! I stated on INANIMATE INSANITY, a show I dearly observe and respect, that this was the SIXTH time Lightbulb had shattered, ever, and it was INACCURATE INFORMATION! Well-done, Lightbulb, you’ve made a mockery out of continuity! I hope you’re happy. I had come to expect that you and Lightbulb would continue going at it, as this had been an established rivalry, but I guess you’re fine with helping someone who would- I just, no.
I’m done for today, guys! Hope you enjoyed this lighthearted entry that contained no concealed ill feelings whatsoever! Catch you on the flip side!
Greetings to my loyal minions, I have held you captive for several weeks awaiting further commands by your leader! Haha, no, that's what I'd say if I was conceited enough to take advantage of my numerous adoring supporters. All seven of them! Yeah, I know… IT’S TOO MANY TO COUNT ON ONE HAND! But anyway, I started thinking about the concept of popularity in general. Y'know, the current “cool” standard, which I would, naturally, lift from a stage musical - “hanging with the right cohorts, being good at sports”. Despite Test Tube’s optimistic support (She tells me, “You could be a delightful asset to a checkers team!”), I unquestionably fail at both of these. It makes me question, do fame and notoriety really matter in the grand scheme of things? To answer in short: "Lolnope". Any sane figure would lecture you about these values, probably the same shreds of sentimentality I'd have shared with you before I joined this series. Would I be biased to claim popularity is irrelevant since I’ve never been too popular myself? Well, luckily we don’t have to worry about that. Like I said, seven whole people are reading this right now! Yet alas, you start to think outside the box once you're on a reality show where viewer vote dictates who stays and who goes. Seriously, the status quo around here is basically be well-liked or be forced to bid adieu prematurely. It makes you hold a lot more value in the things people say. I’d love to just write off users like Fanisworsethaneverything237, but his vote might be what stands between me and a million, life-changing dollars. Not to mention this game basically revolves around a series of social situations, which I'd much prefer to look for any reason to stay out of, for, well, obvious reasons (#self-deprecation). But even after volunteering to get away from the action and stay in the comfort of a soccer goal, the world seemed like it was still tearing me apart… literally. It’s really all too easy to fall into the trap of believing popularity is all that matters when you're trapped under the bubble of a reality show, or some high school, or heck, even box office totals. Yeah, the hilarious new installment in one of my favorite franchises was released last weekend, but made less green than from what I’ve been hearing is a poorly executed young adult novel adaptation. Yes, yet ANOTHER one of those, I mean, that market’s really starting to become bloated. To avoid possible fan outrage I'm not going to say any names, so I diverge, er, digress. It really goes to show, people only like what they've come to know. They want the same thing over and over again, like an assembly line. Or "__ Run" game apps, which ironically, are so numerous I find I can’t run FROM them. Sigh… not everything can be as unique as this book I’m planning involving a love triangle amidst an effort to survive a dystopian future! Working title is “The Disparate Games”, keep an eye on the shelves. When something fresh or original like that comes along, not many people care. That is, unless word of mouth kicks in from some well-respected sources that tell people what they should like. Then all of a sudden the initial popularity starts… I don’t know, compounding continuously, there's a math formula involved, it escapes me. And this “formula” changes every day. So if it's temporary, what does popularity really mean? Well while I'd love to say absolutely nothing, I must admit that is not the truth. Being popular means having connections and opportunities to have doors opened for you. But I can say that even if it’s not nothing, it’s also not everything. You'll be kicked out of those doors if it's made clear you're not actually as good those connections implied. There’s a big difference between these “coattail riders” and “climbing risers”, as I like to call them. Sure, you have limits now, and your outlook may seem hopeless, but carrying a sense of self-awareness is the key. Always be yourself, but try to be conscious of how others might react. Just don't let those reactions mold you into some convoluted mesh of various others’ expectations, because even the most popular can’t help but have their detractors. If you commit yourself to something, your legacy will catch on, and live on, one day. And just maybe, you will find an outlet as meaningful and respectable as a blog on the internet.
Old Moons, New Friends
Hello my fellow fans, coming back at you with a new outlook on the world! Warning, I might start to get a little moody and out there with my writing style this time, but hey, I was feeling a little different lately! I'm sure I'll get some haters to call me out on it! Seriously, I never got where people with such negative attitudes come from. How do they see things? Do they open their eyes every morning, stare at the ceiling, and automatically think 'Ergh, everyone hates me', and go on about their day? Why would you want to live like that? Well if that's what they tell themselves they're gonna end up believing it. The perspective we view our world from changes everything. Depending on if you're gazing through the eye strain-inducing lit screen of a laptop or through the tiny lens of a telescope makes a big difference. As for me, well, it's no secret that Inanimate Insanity is the biggest part of my life. Frankly, you could call me obsessed and I couldn't deny it. Yet I never thought my borderline depressing infatuation with the series would become... well, you know, actually depressing. As I said, the show's the biggest thing in my life, but ironically, now that I'm here, it's so big with its numerous crazy happenstances and quirky inhabitants, it's easy to go unnoticed, or, well, no need to sugarcoat it, it's easy to be intentionally ignored. It got me thinking, how does it feel to accomplish landing on the moon? Granted, I don't really have to imagine since I've been to Mars for crying out loud, but hey, that only strengthens my point. That place didn't really capture my attention; I was busy being frustrated with my awful data service. Yeah, with my little blog "hiatuses" you know how much my service sucks, right, dear readers? But anyway, honestly, after the initial shock dies down, it must be pretty underwhelming, the moon. Like, whoo, you're standing on some celestial body where gravitational influence creates ocean tides. Big whoop. Gee, I'm starting to sound like Test Tube... hmph, funny, speaking of influences. I feel a lot happier now, knowing there's someone here who I don't have to worry will judge me and my ridiculously drawn-out and trivial observations. Test Tube a lot of the time is just saying stuff no one else seems to care about, too. But bless her, she couldn't care less if anyone else cared. She doesn't really let anything get her down, she just enjoys absorbing the world around her for what it is. I guess every place has a silver lining if you look hard enough, after all, Mars gave me that egg, didn't it? I know Test Tube really loves the moon, observing it from afar and adoring every little detail from its phases to its atomic radius. I hope for her sake, she never gets there. Now I turn the tables to you, readers. Has your opinion on something ever completely changed over time, as your perspective got a chance to widen? Email me your responses, you can find my address through the forum (hey, a little plug for that part of the site can't hurt!)
Guess Who's Back?
You thought I forgot about you guys, huh? Sorry, I've been having some internet connection issues lately, but they're all worked out now! Wow... it's been so long, I don't even know what to talk about! I know I never posted up the results to the Fan Exam I did ages ago (I KNOW YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR THAT, RIGHT?) But anyway, this is just a little update to show you that I'm still alive, even after screaming my lungs out while jumping from a window of a haunted house. Still got it.
-Your Loyal Fan